Idris' family - Remembering Abah

To all Dad's, Papa's, Father's ... Let me wish all fathers out there a very Happy Father's Day. And to our fathers who are no longer with us..let us offer Al-Fatihah. May they rest in peace and may God bless them. Amin!

Father's Day is a bittersweet time for me. One Thursday evening, my beloved father passed away peacefully at the age of 58. It was a sudden demise and he is still missed dearly by all of us until today. If there is one thing that I could wish for.. it would be to have him back with us. Abah was our mentor. A very firm and wise man, abah hardly ever scolded us and only did so when it was really necessary. Mak, on the other hand - I must admit that I admire her patience and calmness. A very strong lady at heart, she was the pillar that all of us had relied on when we lost our beloved father.

As the saying goes, we only have one set of parents in this world, so might as well love them and appreciate everything they did for our future's sake. To u Abah, we thank you for bringing us to this world and sharing us some of your experiences. On behalf of my siblings, we are proud of u.

Dimana akan ku cari
Aku menangis seorang diri
Datanglah aku ingin bertemu
Untukmu aku menyanyi
Untuk Abah tercinta
Aku ingin bernyanyi
Walau airmataku jatuh dipipi
Abah ... dengarkanlah
Aku ingin berjumpa
Walau hanya dalam mimpi...walau hanya didalam mimpi.


Happy Father's Day and may u shelter in the palm of the Creator's hand and may the last embrace of the mother welcome u home. - Al-Fatihah!


En. Idris B. Ahmad (October 10th 1947 - July 27th 2005) - You'll surely be missed dearly by all of us!

Pn. Jamiah Bt. Doragi (beloved wife)
Nor Zalina Bt. Idris
Noor Azlee B. Idris
Nor Syahirah Amani Bt. Idris

the tale of thumbeLINA

For words, she ran out of them: thumbeLINA- observing the observed.

Somehow, u understand every moody, compulsive, emotional, neurotic or quirky.. Preserving a friendship requires many skills, one of the most important of these is the ability to say "I'm sorry". We all make mistakes. Hurting each other from time to time is inevitable especially in a friendship. Some people are incapable of apologizing because they are unable to admit that they may have made a mistake. There is no way for a friendship to last without apologies. Saying I'm Sorry in a sincere and compassionate way will preserve your friendship and deepen the bond that your share.

Ok! I’m taking a deep breath …in … out... in … out … shit, I’m not breathing. My hands are shaking while I try and type. I can’t believe what I have to tell. I don't quite know how to write what I must. But on this one page, I’m in utter disbelief myself. I’m trying hard not to freak-out to stay strong and to remain calm. But I'll write what I trust but I never had the chance to say it again. I will say it again for that friendship is tried. I'm sorry for what I’ve done... but there was something u said, something that opened my eyes. For all the tears that I've cried. I never meant to hurt anyone. I hope one day it can be fixed. Most people would say, “friends come and go”, I thought and still do and we had so much more to show.

And now, last but not least I just want to say I’m sorry for everything from the bottom of my heart. Hope to stay in touch.

p/s: sedangkan Nabi ampunkan umat, inikan kita pula manusia

During the kiddo's years - Eat Your Dessert First!

Sometimes life is made out of a great number of small incidents and a small number of great ones. People tend to remember the great incidents but as for me, I love to remember the small ones instead.

Flashing back 22 years ago, I was just a little girl in primary school. My grandmom believe as a growing child, I must have a proper at least 3 course meal everyday. So she packed my school lunch for me.

Everyday I will get a small portion of sandwich for entree, mee goreng or rice for the mains and a different selection of dessert all the time. One fine day, she prepared banana pancakes for my dessert. It was a big day that I can never forget. That's because it was really unusual. I only get fruits or buns for dessert. But that day, I had banana pancake!!!!!!

I had a torturing 3 hours of classes before the break because I couldn't wait to eat that banana pancake in my lunch box. Finally when the bell rang, I rushed to the canteen where other children were seated. Slowly, I open up my lunch box and display all my food on the table.

I was contemplating of eating the banana pancake first, but I remember my wise father taught me, "u must save the best for last then the taste will remain longer in your mouth." It became a habit for me to do that. To think about it, no wonder they serve dessert at the end of the meal. Because it is the best part of all. But after u continue reading this story, u might change your perception. Huhu! I'll give u a good advice, life is uncertain, better eat your dessert first.

I chewed my food and I swallowed. Chewed ... chewed ... chewed and swallowed. After done that repeatedly, I came to the dessert moment. The banana pancake was staring at me and begging me to eat them.

But before I could pick-up my fork, the fire alarm went-off. All the children start to get panic and running around like headless-chicken. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to ignore the commotion and continue eating my banana dessert but there was an announcement on the speaker that everyone has to leave for the field immediately. My teacher grabbed my arms and dragged me out of my chair. There I was ...parting with my banana pancake like two lovers refuse to let go off their hands at the bus station. Huhu!

Eventually, I was standing at the field but my heart was with the banana pancake. The headmistress announced that there was no fire and it was merely a fire drill. "She must be playing a personal prank on me!!!! Memang kurang asam punya pengetua." I said to myself. After half hour listening to her endless speech, we were allowed to dismiss.

I ran to the canteen only to find that the place was perfectly clean!!!!!! I asked the cleaner where was my banana pancake and she told me she threw away everything on the table, so my banana pancake is probably in the rubbish bin already. I couldn't believe she threw away the precious dessert I've ever got in my schooling days!! I felt like I was just been sucked into a black-hole.

Just so u know, I spent the next 3 years during my primary eating fruits and buns for my dessert. I awaited for the precious banana pancake but for some reason, my grandmom did not make it anymore.

Do you find quiet people a snob? - *the importance of being real*

"Would u take the risk of being called snobbish? ... U may even upset and hurt quite a few people but u're not supposed to feel for them."

What's about me? I must say that, I'm just an ordinary simple person. I'm neither beautiful nor ugly. Hahaha! *clearing throat* .. Continue with the writing. It is a real epiphany when u discover the importance of being real or as I like to put it, genuine in life.

People sometimes mistakenly think I'm quiet. They think I am strict and quite person and they are interpreting it as being unfriendly or snobbish.
Hmmm... Deep inside my heart, I'm like, "Ya, so!!!" .. but its okay, wait until u know ... Well,impressions like that is not a new one for me! In fact i'm used to them! WHY? Well, just check this out!

Sometimes, I'm like, I have no idea in the world what people sees in me. I associate as a snob. Probably because of my face it looks like one . But tell you what, actually that's a BIG NO. Proofs? My beloved boyfriend, families and friends..Hehe!

I want to let everyone know that I'm not a perfect person..as nobody really is...Please take a chance to know me better before judging me, but actually their opinions does not matter. It's just that I have to admit that those NON-SENSE comments and PREJUDICES.. If u would just take the find yourselves wrong.

I don't give a damn what other people think. I am me. There is no one else exactly like me.

I'm not the kind of girl that will just tend to keep her mouth-shut if someone did something wrong to her. If someone did something wrong to me, surely, I'll fight for my self.. as long as I know I'm in the position where in I'm right. I know how to say my sorry if needed or if I've done something wrong to someone, but if I know I'm the right one well then u'll never hear me saying those words.

But seriously, we can't force people to be genuine, we just have to love 'em until they discover for themselves in their own time, how totally cool and freeing it is!

I guess I've said enough already.

As Malay proverb says - Mulut tempayan boleh ditutup, mulut manusia mana boleh, sesak nafaslah nanti. Hehehe!
Peace, peace, peace no war!

Have a great dinner. Have a pleasant weekend ahead. Cherioo and have fun!

As I lay down to sleep - Every message is a smile

Did u all miss me? Yes, I'm back to selling some writing. Haha! Just kidding. I missed writing or u may called it typing instead. Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been writing much. Just where in the hell have I been? Well, it's simple really. I've been too busy to blog. So here I am, writing / tapping my fingers on the keyboard about something I enjoy and enjoy sharing. I've got all sorts of things happening though. However, due to some what of an outcry, I'm back in-the-house, but at least I'm back online. It feels like the right thing to do. Updates still won't be termendously frequent. I am resolving to make the effort though. At some point, my piece feels undone. Yeah. Undone. U read it right. It's not really done. When I feel this, I do something which I find strange. I have always felt something at the back of my mind that somewhere, something exists which will take me somewhere, where I deserve to be.I started writing in a diary to make myself feel better, at least I guess that's why I did. I would just write about what I was feeling and how it was impacting me. Before I knew it, I was writing for hours and hours a day, even doing it at work on my computer, writing and writing, typing and typing and then deleting what I wrote so no one would see it.There was there one night, as I lay down to sleep. I've popped. My mind is overcome, but as I get deeper, my inner thoughts slowly dance. I just feel like writing something. I have to admit, I missed these two wonderful people. My boyfriend and my late father (he'll be missed by many ... Al-Fatihah).

But when I sat down I feel like writing something. I want to write something new - something extraordinary and beautiful and simple. To me, writing is something that comes from the heart that helps me to express myself. In fact, I am missing my boyfriend very much.

Oh yea. Valentine’s is just around the corner.
Me and my boyfriend do not celebrate valentine’s day. I fall into the hate it category. Haha! Please just don’t ask me why. Thank you. My friends and colleagues giggles at me because they said they cannot believe a woman could careless about valentine’s day. Why should I care so much? But really, I think its silly. I would rather remember our anniversary or his birthday than Feb 14th. That’s just me.

Ok, let's get back to the topic.

Sometimes writing a good romatic love message can be very difficult. But seriously I’m not a very good in writing a romatic message or poem. I’m not a mushy-gushy kind of lovey-dovey person. Hehehe! But I try to find and my best to write a lovely message to the person I loved.

So here goes nothing. I really hope he likes it.

*Time goes by a lot slower when u miss the one u love. Missing someone gets easier everyday. Because, even though it is one day further from the last time u saw each other, it is one day closer to the next time u will.

I miss u when something really good happens, because u are the one I want to share it with. I miss u when something is troubling me because u are the one who understands me so well. I miss u when I laugh and cry because I know that u are the one that makes my laughter grow and tears disappear. I miss u all the time but I miss u most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful time we spent with each other.

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad because I miss u I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss. There are moments in your life when u really miss someone that u want to pick from your dreams and hug him for real. Love is missing someone whenever u’re apart but somehow feeling warm inside because u’re close in heart.*

At the same time once again, I personally would like to wish my boyfriend a cool fun belated birthday. Hope u had a fantastic one.
Happy Belated Birthday Dear! Hip-hip hooray! *MUUUAAAH*
Love U!!! :-)

The beauty of human beings: The sadness and the happiness

Generally speaking here.. *Everyone's experience is different, but there are some problems that many people face.. common problems*

Perhaps I just reached a point where I had had enough. Yes, I've been feeling like that for a while. That depends upon that with which you discover yourself having enough. It is strictly subjective. Some people have higher or lower tolerances to "enough".

Do you feel sad sometimes? It's a fact that everyone feels sad from time to time. There are times for everybody when hopelessness takes place.

This feeling is sadness for the society that we live in. The world around us is always in shambles. While our lives may be perfect, there are countless others with so many problems that could be solved if people would think and be loving and considerate. It is good that you feel sadness for our society. It means that you aren't just another heartless person engulfed in it. It also probably means that you want to help people with problems like that man's. It's a noble cause. It's natural to have feelings of sadness.

The beauty of human beings is that we are all different, and there are different things that make us all happy... But, there is something for everyone and there is also a place in this world that is perfect for each and every one of us... it's just discovering what and where those things/places are.

Have you been doing the same thing for ages? Do you need a change? And I'll tell you something for sure, every person needs something to look forward to all of the time. Whether it's a holiday, the hope of finding someone to love who will love us in return, moving house, saving up to buy something, even shopping, a birthday, ect... ect.... it just depends what interests you most...

The best way to self discovery (which does include discovering what makes you happy) ... when you work abroad, no-one knows you (you being the reputation you have to live up to in your home town) they only have of you what you give them, you are open to be who you want to be entirely, and who you have become. You also are meeting new people everyday, people from all over the world, different cultures, backgrounds, workers, holiday-makers (people on holiday are the happiest people and the most fun to be around)...

You also go there to live your life, not to work! work is not even like work, it's fun and takes up hardly any of your time there. You don't have to do this, I just think it's a really good chance to open your eyes and realize there's a lot more out there than what you've already experienced in life. So why not give it a go?

Please yourself first!! sounds selfish but you have to like who you are first.

Sound off and be heard: Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed - *What's on Your Mind?*

“I feel like my friends are always talking smack behind my back. They'll all be talking together, but when I join the group they stop. They start up again as soon as I leave. I've tried asking them about it, but they deny they're doing it… "

Gossip raises gossips, but what else does it raise ? It happens to everyone.

How do you feel about a friend who has to go everywhere with you? Not only does he/she tag along all the time, but since he/she are so offensive and vulgar, you become unwelcome when with he/ she/ them.

But eventually your friends tires of you. They decides they're no longer wishes to have your company. Instead of letting you go your separate ways, they decides to "kill" you. In fact, they has been plotting your death since the day you met them.

Why do people talk behind their friend's back? I was just wondering because I experienced that thing before. Some adults still have some bad habits and still talk behind people's backs. Why? .. Oh Please! Don't be hypocrite.

Perhaps, you too may talk someone behind. Don't say 'No' not only all of this world peoples are anyone talk like this behind to someone. Such activities are not impress to others.

I think the main reason why friends talk about you behind your back is because they either don't like you or there's something about you that they don't like. There are other reasons as well why they talk about you behind your back.

Those so-called people whom you called friends talk about you behind your back, they are not your friends. Friends do not bad mouth each other and they're there for one another. People talk about other people regardless and it is up to us to not be so concerned of what they think. I learned i life to pick and choose your friends carefully. If they want to be part of your life, be a positive influence, picks you up when you're down and they're there for you, that is a friend.

I think one of the biggest problems with helping someone deal with the loss of someone close is that a lot of people feel the subject is a bit unapproachable, they tiptoe around it in a mostly ungraceful manner, hence the elephant in the room... People should know that it can be spoken about and if the person isn't in the mood for speaking then let them drop it.

This old saying "a friend in need is a friend indeed" is time tested. There is no dearth of friends in this world but finding a true or real friend is really difficult. Lot of people will boast that I have hundreds of friends but when she/he is in trouble how many of the hundreds will extend a helpful hand. Friends always keep changing. How many friends stay in touch with changes of place. You have friends in your primary school but when you leave and move to secondary school you forget these friends and make new friends.

Likewise, when you leave school or college you move to join your work place you get new friends and forget old friends. Only few friends stay in touch with changing place and time. What does it show? In fact this is not friendship this is an arrangement to share things, to share work . However, sharing of responsibility in easy and stable manner changes in real friendship.

Most of the time we make friends with some purpose. However, when you make friendship without purpose and your liking and disliking match each other, chances are that this friendship will last long. True friendship needs compromises, sacrifices and helping attitude towards each other. Sometime we becomes more demanding and always expect that a friend will always agree to your viewpoint but this is wrong attitude and should never expect too much.

When you become dependent on someone whether she/he is your friend actually you are demanding more than needed. However, friendship is other form of love. It is in no terms less than love. If you have true friendship you will love your friend more than any other thing in this world but this world is materialistic so first test and evaluate than go ahead with friendship. People are really lucky who find good friends. I would find a friend that is trustworthy and nice. Tell me, who wouldn't?


p/s: do a little self-evaluation