Rewriting life: From her heart

The wrong tone of voice and negative body language can cause problems when dealing with other people. However, using the wrong words can also be source of trouble. There are certain trigger words that cause people to become more difficult, especially in emotionally charged situations and they should be avoided. For my observations interruptions are a norm in daily communication. What do u people think? Hrmmm.... but maybe I can be wrong. I wish I could turn back the clock, I definitely would not have done it. It's an imperfect world, and people make mistakes, even when they're trying to do their best.

You need to know that people make mistakes sometimes foolishly and with their eyes half-closed, sometimes deliberately. And these mistakes take a toll on the people around. But that doesn't mean that the person who has made the mistake is inherently bad or evil. And he/she did not mean to do it.

Since interruptions are so commonplace, people like me wondered, could it be that interruptions are justified in some situations? In other words, are there times when we need to interrupt?

In order to answer this question, we need to ask ourselves another question.
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In most situations, the answer is no. People speak because they have something they want u to listen to. They also have expectations that u will listen. In polite conversation, it's best to honour those expectations if u would like to be so honoured in turn.

I have watched TV talk shows when the host interrupts a panelist. Usually I find that I am less interested in what the host brings up than in what the panelist was saying. I am also left wondering what the panelist was going to say. It may have been important. The interruption prevents me from ever knowing.

Interruptions may be the norm in daily communication, but that doesn't necessarily make them good things. I've noticed that traffic accidents are the norm on Malaysian roadways. That doesn't justify fender benders; it just means that there are a lot of careless drivers on the roads. Likewise, many people are careless in their daily communications.

Exercising more care in listening can prevent interruptions. There may be times, however, when an interruption is excusable or even necessary. Or perhaps a listener might require immediate clarification to fully understand the point a speaker is trying to make. In any case, the interruption must be done carefully and courteously.

Interruptions are not necessarily bad things. It is the way in which we interrupt that makes them rude or insensitive. Butting in with your own two cents worth of information while someone is still speaking is clearly unacceptable. Politely requesting an interruption and raising a question or a remark relevant to what the speaker is saying is admissible, sometimes even welcome.

Requesting an interruption can be done many different ways. In a face-to-face conversation, interruptions need to be smooth, almost as if they are a part of the conversation. Achieving this politely can be done by first indicating through body language that an interruption is coming.

Well, remember what we used to do in school? If the teacher was talking and u had a question or comment, what were u supposed to do? That's right. Raise your hand.

The meaning of this gesture has carried through to our lives. Naturally, u won't do it as frantically as u did back in Standard Five as if you're swatting nyamuk. Providing a gesture before u interrupt allows someone to a convenient pause. At this point, your verbal interruption should begin with something polite. Excuse me works every time. I'm sorry' might be used for more formality or if u are introducing disagreement, clarification or correction.

Although this is an interruption, there is no disrespect or disservice involved. The focus in the conversation has smoothly shifted to u for the moment, interruptions over the telephone are trickier since we don't have the luxury of body language to interrupt the flow. Just as in face-to-face communications, however, u don't want to interrupt someone mid-sentence.

Well yeah, if u feel a need to interrupt, wait for a break between sentences or ideas and slip your verbal interruption in at that point. Other than correcting or clarifying, the only other situation I can think of in which an interruption is necessary is if someone deserves to be silenced. An interruption in this case could serve as either a favour or a reprimand.

Maybe the interruption will provoke even more offensiveness. Maybe u'll get punched in the nose. In cases like these, I've often found that the best way to interrupt is to ignore. Vulgarians often silence themselves when they realise they have no audience. Interruptions are commonplace, but most of them are unwelcome. In the few situations where interruptions are warranted, however, remember that there are courteous ways to interrupt.

Receptivity to feedback and learning agility. People make mistakes. They never stop making mistakes. The question is, do they learn from them? The best way to learn is to welcome, even seek out, feedback from those in the know and those u respect. This is a rare commodity, particularly among the egocentric.

What we learned as children is true. The rules haven't changed just because we've grown up. The sad truth, it is bad to hurt other people’s feeling. In all sincerity, of the people's feeling on the issue. I think the incident shouldn't have happened. It's just a reaction on my side. It's a small matter and it's already been settled. Anyone who knows me, I would like to say... Seriously, I have a little confession to make here.. Anyone who might have felt offended to accept a thousand apologies from me.