Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Overcoming Jealousy - I keep telling to myself on how to cope with jealousy.... recovery and repair.

It's a little odd to be writing about this. ...

I feel jealous sometimes but it often passes pretty quickly and without the almost burning intensity some people seem to experience. I have known some very jealous personalities in my life. To be perfectly honest, I can't think of any one that ended up being truly happy or successful. Jealousy has a way of destroying everything in front of it without regards. I can freely admit that I am not a jealous person, and I feel that it has a lot to do with the fact that I concentrate more on what I do than what others do. I believe that I could be a jealous person if I wouldn't have this control over myself. After all, I am a very competitive person that thrives on adversity. I would seem to be the perfect fit to have jealous tendencies, yet I do not. Even though, jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion.

Still, I have of course thoughts about this problem and found a few ways to overcome it when it arises within. Hopefully this article can be helpful for you to decrease this destructive feeling in your life. I admit I'm not much of a jealous person. Well, sometimes I love it but most of the time I hate it. Well for some reason I love this quote, I think it's very authentic. It's rare to have people who can admit that they're jealous. And perhaps loving it would make life easier. I don't know.. Maybe yes and maybe no. But tell me, what are you jealous of?

But what exactly is jealousy? A feeling of wanting something that is not yours? Practically this makes sense. We always want what we can't have. So is it possible to enjoy not having something? What I'm going to say is to me, being jealous is like a kick to go further, it's a motivation to get it, it's the missing piece to force ourselves to do something. Being jealous can help you to go do something. Someone's smarter than you? Study harder and get smart! Work it out!!! Jealousy and ambition are a nice combination if you can work it out together. But yet, you need to know that there's good and bad jealousy (obviously that's basically how the way life works!). You can be jealous of someone cause they have somebody else.. And that's just a feeling that throws you down... And the undercurrent of jealousy is always there to spice things up.

Jealousy in relationship is one way the phenomenon manifests itself. It has its peaks and valleys or has its problems. Another is a poor self-concept. It is a very negative factor in any relationship. It often suffocates the relationship. In every relationship, Love must be free and it must be confident. Remember that every relationship should be built and nurtured on compromise, communication and understanding. We all have feelings.

So basically people just need to know how to make lemonade out of lemons right? To tell you, I'm jealous of this particular thing, and this one is a good jealousy, yeah I wish I was rich. Hehehe! Just kidding. But being jealous of material things such as objects and money is just a waste of time to me.

We have to think positive. The feeling of jealousy makes me feel lousy! Be mature. Childish behaviors like extreme jealousy are a big no-no.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Cook on weekend

Oh, it was a lovely weekend. What a breath of fresh air. Throughout my weekend of juice in the kitchen. Today I was thinking of the pleasures of homemaking and thought I'd share a few with you. I love homemaking because my time is my own. I dictate how my day will go and that is an awesome thing to do. Cooking became an outlet when I was all of a sudden out of options to keep myself occupied at home.

If all of us realize how important good food preparation to our families and loved ones, we will never ever take this for granted and I get great pleasure out of seeing instant gratification on people’s faces.

This is how my Mom taught me where love and food is actually connected to each other… Prepare the food with love definitely love will grows stronger in you and peoples around you.

I could start off by telling a story of how I learnt cooking from my Mother when I was a young girl … but I didn’t. Hehe! And still can I remember being in the kitchen with Mak when I was little and "helping" as much as any 5 year old can. Then the teenage years set it and, gosh, was I selfish!! I remember Mak asking me "How long do you boil chicken?", "How long do you boil eggs?" and on and on and on. Things I would have learned had I been less selfish and continued under the tutelage of my Mother. My answer? "Mak, I'll just read the directions."

My Mother love to cook, it’s her passion, it’s her life. And when I was little, I wasn’t interested in cooking. I just wanted to eat! Plus, if I was anywhere near the kitchen when Mak was cooking, it never fails… I’d always end up with the shit jobs!

Pinching the itty bitty tails off the of bean sprouts, shelling pounds and pounds of shrimp … so on and so on .. Hehehe! Of course, Mak would constantly spew out kitchen wisdom, but hey, I was young and didn’t care about cooking- I WANTED TO EAT!

So I really didn’t learn how to cook during my younger days well until my Mother opened her mouth and said to me “How in the world are you ever going to cook for your family if you never help me cook now?"

Okay, so I was Miss Smarty Pants and not very honoring to my Mother. I've repented, believe me. I'm not saying I'm an expert cook, but I love to learn new methods instead of the same old same old.

After years gone by and time flies … And I’m all grown up now, it’s never too late to learn. Hehe! Here's the story... I'm not a chef. I'm not a professional cook. But I love what happens when I serve up delicious food from my own kitchen. In our family, the kitchen is the center of life. It's a warm and friendly place to be. But it wasn't always like this -- in fact my first encounter with cooking was a total disaster. Cooking is the center of life for almost everyone in the world, and it's about more than just feeding your body. Cooking is really about love and connection.

I love to cook and I'm going to cook something special…So today, I’m cooking Ikan masak kukus Nyonya style - I've got fresh limes ready to squeeze. (You know my passion for fish) and sambal tumis taukua.. it’s been long time since I have cooked that and I’m more than happy that I realized it, even though it was after a good long while. I was determined to learn how to cook a decent meal, though. That's why I was determined to learn to cook and doing so really changed my life.
Fact I'm proud of myself though I'm a lousy cook but bit by bit my cooking skills have improved over the years, my enjoyment of food has also increased. Hehe! As I work to improve my cooking skills, my writing style and my lifestyle in general, I have realized to become a better cook as well. To target my “audience”.. Hehehe!

Even though cooking is not my obsession. It's not even really my hobby. But it has become a great vehicle for making a connection with others I cannot make any other way. The well-cooked meal is simply a vehicle to deeper friendships, fascinating conversation, family together time, and yes...sometimes even romance. And I’m willing to give it a try. Absolutely!

I want to be like my Mother. My Mother is very good cook. She teaches me how to cook and be a good wife for my future husband. Mostly, I learned to cook from my Mother and Mummy (my aunt).

Even if you don't think you can cook worth diddly and If you ever wished you could cook up meals and dishes that leave your guests with their mouths watering... rubbing their midsections and making that "mmmmmmm" sound... and raving about how delicious your cooking is.
Have a great weekend and full of healthy food!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Encouragement has given me peace of mind

I allow myself to feel calm and relaxed. With every breath in, I breathe in relaxation and with every breath out, I breathe out tension.

My body is relaxing and as I become aware of any tightness in any muscle, I let it go. They drift away and I allow calmness and peace to enter my mind.

My thoughts open up like a path inward, towards my inner self. I have courage to cross obstacles of my inner weaknesses or doubts and begin to explore the silent spaces within. I am strong enough to let go of all the mistakes of the past and fears of the future. They drift away like steam dissolving into space.

I move away from the limitations I'd placed upon myself in the form of doubts and expectations and I allow myself to be free.

I respect myself. Life is a game in which I make the rules. I choose to play the game of life with clarity in my thoughts and easiness and lightness in my attitudes.
I accept the surprises and changes life is offering me with confidence and calmness, resolving to live everyday in freedom and peace.

Now it's time for my thoughts to return. As I return, I keep within myself feelings of peace and strength, free just to be me.

Author Anthony Robbins: The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Dear Diary - Disabled to text messages

Earlier this evening I was facing some minor problems on my mobile phone. I can’t send text message to anybody. So I called up the Digi Center for an assistance. Lend me your ears. What I want to say is that many of the service-based Malaysian companies are bad for our health, mental health that is. For they have infernal phone answering machines that drive up our stress levels or into fits of frustration.

I ended up mouthing profanities into one such device after phoning a phone company over some matters today, I had told myself to be patient and do everything the computerised message said. My dread started when I heard something I didn't want to hear, that depression inducing cheery voice recording that says: "If you want this, press 1, if you want that, press 2..." Patient, just be patient, I consoled myself. By the way, patience, according to the dictionary is a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

It was like queueing up as I waited for a metallic feminine voice at the other end of the line to tell me what to do. Navigating your way through the answering machine can be quite tricky. Push the wrong buttons and you end up going nowhere. Push the right buttons, like in life, you go far. After hitting several if-you-wish-to-do-this buttons, it was joy for me when I finally heard the machine say the magic words: "If you want to speak to our customer service officers, please press zero." Bingo! I thought I finally got a human to talk to but to my despair, the voice recording says: "Our operators are all busy, we will attend to you in a short while." With a frown, I waited. *Sigh* They let me listen to some mozart to calm me down. After a while, the voice chirped again: "Our operators are still busy, we will attend to you soon." Clenching my teeth, I waited while mozart continued to calm me. Then, my restless finger hit a button, causing the machine to say the same thing again: "If you want this, press 1, if you want that, press 2..." "Oh no," I cried. More waiting, but I wasn't discouraged, so another 10 minutes of the tell-you-what-to-do stuff.

It was like taking a wrong turn and getting caught in a traffic jam. Before you can hit a button to proceed to another button, you have to wait for the voice to finish saying out its complete set of instructions. It ended with me close to a nervous breakdown when the answering machine said: "All our operators are busy, please call back later." The machine then hung up on me with a click even as I screamed: "Arrrggghhhh…No! No! Please don't hang up, please don't do this to me." I gave up (well, almost .. hehehe) .. But, I was like thinking the next day going downtown to the company concerned to sort out my problem. I will be billed half-an-hour for a call to nobody. Of course, they can say mozart kept me company.

You would be lucky to have mozart or something like that. When they keep you waiting, some companies even take the opportunity to try to make more money from you - by advertising their products over the phone. Spare a thought for those poor folk who have to keep putting in coins when they use the public phone to call a company but ended up being kept at bay by an answering machine. What about old folks who hardly held a phone in their younger days? Expect them to be an old hand in dealing with an answering machine? Isn't the old way much better, straight to the point with real telephonists handling the queries. Some companies tell you to leave a voice mail for them to call you back. But a friend remarked: "It's all phony. They bluff-lah, they never call you back."